4 weeks seems like minutes at this point. Sometimes I'm still in 'awe' that I'm married...let alone pregnant...let alone nearly DUE. Although it's approaching quickly, I have to say that I feel quite confident in all of our preparations.
We've done all we can to talk to Lyla about how little the baby will be able to do once she's first born, and how much help she will need from Mommy, Eric and big sister Lyla. Hopefully this will have eliminated the hope that Hannah will come out ready to tackle puzzles and participate in dance parties. I do, however, still worry about how we will all adjust from the easy-going life style of a family of 3 with a fairly easy, independent toddler, to an exhausted family of 4, with demanding needs of a new born and possible regression from Lyla. But again, we've pretty much told ourselves this will happen, and have mentally prepared quite a bit. I've also managed to do some research on how to handle post-baby regression in older siblings. We can't predict what will happen or how we will all react, so all we can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Lyla talks about her baby sister during every activity during the day, and discusses whether or not she'll be able to do certain things. I think this will also help her have a better understanding of what's to come. We talk about how baby Hannah will be able to come along to most places, like the playground, or story time at the library, but that Mommy or Eric will have to hold her while Lyla plays, because she's a big girl, and Hannah will just be a baby. We also plan to keep Lyla as involved as possible; with feeing, when bottles are made, helping to get diapers, allowing her to pick out little outfits, etc. Hopefully, the more we allow her to do with the baby, the easier the adjustment.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I definitely feel more confident and comfortable knowing that this is my 2nd time around with this baby-thing. Hopefully I won't deprive myself of extra sleep by running to the crib every 30 minutes to check on her breathing, like I did with Lyla, or be totally housebound because I'm scared to take her anywhere. I feel like I will be able to relax and enjoy my new baby this time around, instead of worry about every feeding, every diaper, every breath. Having Lyla also allows me to see the light at the end of the tunnel - knowing that those difficult first few months will pass, and things will always get better and easier. I'm lucky that Lyla is such an easy-going kid - it'll make having to nurse every few hours and give up a lot of my attention a bit easier, knowing that she is content doing puzzles, coloring, or watching a show on her own. She loves her mommy-time, but she's also very content being independent and off in her own little world.
As d-day grows closer, I'm having less feelings of guilt. I've come to terms with the fact that Lyla will have to share me, and be thrown into this major adjustment. I'm enjoying the time with her now, but am more than ever looking forward to bringing her sister into this world. I think all the necessary preparations we've gone through helps me feel more comfortable - there isn't a book I haven't read, mother I haven't reached out to, or website I haven't browsed regarding any and all of the tough possibilities. No two kids are the same, and no two experiences will be either, but I feel confident knowing that I've done all I can to prepare both my daughter, husband, and myself for what may or may not happen when this baby arrives.
So for now, I'm taking advantage of the time with Lyla, doing things that will be difficult once the baby comes - like stopping for ice cream or giant soft pretzels at the mall (Lyla's favorite) - and am enjoying every last kick and twist I feel from this little life inside me. Soon, we'll be able to hold her and watch these kicks and twists for ourselves! Let the count down continue...
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