Comfy Cozy

Here I am at 39 weeks pregnant. It's been two weeks since she could have "arrived at any time", with one week left until my due date, and another possible 2 weeks of pregnancy. I really hope I don't go that long; each day seems like an eternity, especially since I've had false labor several times now. It's exhausting.

I think the worst thing was expecting her to come early. Every one and their mothers have told me that the second child will normally come well before their due date, not to mention, this baby had dropped into position weeks ago, and each time I go to the doctors I am more dilated, leaving them saying things like "any day now!" And even though I tried to tell myself otherwise, there's was always that part of me that assumed she'd be here by now - especially after my last doctors appointment. They did a procedure called "stripping membranes" which is a more invasive, but still natural method to induce labor - one that will only work if your body and baby are fully ready. And since she's been so low and my body has begun early labor with my dilation, they thought that my chances of going into labor within 24 hours of the procedure was highly likely. But here I am, 2 days later and still no labor.

Positive thinking at this point is nearly impossible. I keep trying to tell myself that nothings happening yet because she's still cookin' in there, and that the longer she stays in, the more healthy she will be at birth. But now at 39 weeks with her officially full term, I can't help but be excited for the real-deal to just get going already. All the walking, jogging, spicy food & pineapple eating, oil capsule popping, yoga ball bouncing these past 3 weeks has done nothing to induce my labor, so now all I have to do is sit back, try to enjoy these final days, and know that when she's ready, she'll let me know.

However, the onset of strong Braxton Hicks contractions, or false labor, has made trying to relax and enjoy out of the question. I will contract several times over the course of an hour, and just when I start to think "okay, this is it!" they come to a dead stop. I'm at a point where I'm telling myself she wont be here until Christmas, just to make this final week(s) seem to go by somewhat fast.

Maybe I'll still get my wish and she'll arrive on Sunday, June 10th - exactly 9 months from our wedding day. I just think that would be awesome. But, for now, it's a Christmas due date in my head.

Stay tuned :)

Anxiously Awaiting

38 weeks and 2 days down, with just 1 week and 5 days to go. It may not seem like a long time to wait (especially since today is day 268 of pregnancy), but boy, are these final days dragging. I only have myself to blame, however, since we gave all our natural-labor-induction attempts a-go on Eric's birthday. I promised myself I'd relax and enjoy the final days of pregnancy, especially since the final few weeks with Lyla seemed like an eternity, but unfortunately that's not how it's going. 

Even though it's made no real difference, I'm still eating pineapple everyday, walking every day, jogging a few times a week, and taking evening of primrose oil capsules, among a few other natural remedies. And although I'm trying my hardest to enjoy this time with Lyla, and how easy things like a trip to the beach or grocery store are, I can't help but think "maybe today!" with each waking morning. Especially with the increased Braxton Hicks (practice contractions); I raise an eyebrow at each twinge of pain I experience. I have been living on my yoga ball - both to help bring the baby's head down and also to help relieve my constant back pain. I've cleaned the house top to bottom at least every other day to make sure things are spotless when those first true contractions hit. My hospital bag is packed and ready to go, and both my mother and mother in law are on stand-by for Lyla-duty once show time begins. So whenever the time does come, we are more than prepared, even though nothing ever feels organized or clean enough. 

I've also definitely experienced some true hormonal changes. Yesterday, while folding bed sheets, I became so frustrated that I slammed the sheet onto the floor, let out a small fit of rage, and burst into tears. Over folding sheets? Yup. I guess 9 months of nearly no real pregnant melt-downs had to be let out sometime. And my hormones chose the bed sheets. 

I'm sure it doesn't help my baby-anxiety when I call friends and family and the first thing they ask is "did your water break!?" My poor mom is on stand-by all the way in Maine, so she's been calling a few times a day to do a "contraction-check". Everyone seems just as anxious to meet this baby as we are! I can't help but want to move things along; I spend hours just staring at Lyla's adorable little face every day, I can't wait to have this feeling all over again with our baby. A new (and even smaller) little face to just gaze into and fall in love with. However, a return of the "hope everything is okay" fears have put reality in perspective that little Hannah will come when she's good and ready, and whether that's today or in 2 weeks, as long as she's healthy it's all we can ask for. But for now, a little extra pineapple and yoga-ball action won't hurt ;)