Anxiously Awaiting

38 weeks and 2 days down, with just 1 week and 5 days to go. It may not seem like a long time to wait (especially since today is day 268 of pregnancy), but boy, are these final days dragging. I only have myself to blame, however, since we gave all our natural-labor-induction attempts a-go on Eric's birthday. I promised myself I'd relax and enjoy the final days of pregnancy, especially since the final few weeks with Lyla seemed like an eternity, but unfortunately that's not how it's going. 

Even though it's made no real difference, I'm still eating pineapple everyday, walking every day, jogging a few times a week, and taking evening of primrose oil capsules, among a few other natural remedies. And although I'm trying my hardest to enjoy this time with Lyla, and how easy things like a trip to the beach or grocery store are, I can't help but think "maybe today!" with each waking morning. Especially with the increased Braxton Hicks (practice contractions); I raise an eyebrow at each twinge of pain I experience. I have been living on my yoga ball - both to help bring the baby's head down and also to help relieve my constant back pain. I've cleaned the house top to bottom at least every other day to make sure things are spotless when those first true contractions hit. My hospital bag is packed and ready to go, and both my mother and mother in law are on stand-by for Lyla-duty once show time begins. So whenever the time does come, we are more than prepared, even though nothing ever feels organized or clean enough. 

I've also definitely experienced some true hormonal changes. Yesterday, while folding bed sheets, I became so frustrated that I slammed the sheet onto the floor, let out a small fit of rage, and burst into tears. Over folding sheets? Yup. I guess 9 months of nearly no real pregnant melt-downs had to be let out sometime. And my hormones chose the bed sheets. 

I'm sure it doesn't help my baby-anxiety when I call friends and family and the first thing they ask is "did your water break!?" My poor mom is on stand-by all the way in Maine, so she's been calling a few times a day to do a "contraction-check". Everyone seems just as anxious to meet this baby as we are! I can't help but want to move things along; I spend hours just staring at Lyla's adorable little face every day, I can't wait to have this feeling all over again with our baby. A new (and even smaller) little face to just gaze into and fall in love with. However, a return of the "hope everything is okay" fears have put reality in perspective that little Hannah will come when she's good and ready, and whether that's today or in 2 weeks, as long as she's healthy it's all we can ask for. But for now, a little extra pineapple and yoga-ball action won't hurt ;)