I have blogged about this before, but the thought has plagued my mind yet again all morning: Although I cannot wait to meet our baby Hannah, I am truly enjoying this time alone with Lyla. My mind is always conflicted between feeling selfish for having another baby, because of how much Lyla's life will change, and yet I am excited to have made her a sibling for those exact reasons.
Having 13 years between me and my brother, I feel like I virtually missed out on having a sibling - until I got older and we grew closer - but I was 3 when he moved out and have no real memory of him living with me. My oldest niece loves to tell me how lucky I am for this, because if she had her way, she would have been an only child and reaped all the benefits of being spoiled and "the one and only", but the addition of 2 sisters made that impossible for her. Of course, siblings will be siblings; arguing and all, but I can only hope that Lyla will benefit from having her sister around as a playmate, friend, and of course, family.
When I was expecting Lyla, I was counting the days until she was due. I did everything possible to (naturally) induce my labor and meet my baby girl. And, with my back feeling the way it has been lately, I'm sure the further along I get in this pregnancy the more I will want it to end, too, but for right now, I'm appreciative of every day I have with my big girl. I'm always reminding myself how difficult certain activities and time together may become with the arrival of Hannah, which allows me to cherish each day between now and June. I stare at her little face everyday in "awe" of how much she's grown and how beautiful she is. I hold her as often as I can, since my arms will likely be reserved for the one who can't walk come summer time.
I'm also just enjoying being pregnant (as much as I can with the back and ligament pain I'm experiencing). We've talked seriously about this being our last pregnancy (we'll see), so every flutter, kick, or hiccup, I sit back and enjoy. It's much more enjoyable now, too, knowing that those kicks and hiccups with soon be accompanied with crying and endless nursing sessions. I love watching my belly grow, knowing that I am doing all I can with healthy eating and exercise to create the best start to life that I can for this little one. It's also still amazing that there is a BABY in there!
But, as excited as I am to meet her, I am going to thoroughly enjoy these last 11 weeks by appreciating my time with Lyla, my pregnancy, and the calm before the storm ;)
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